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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are often coming after a “crash”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, leaving him especially susceptible to criticism from others. He began to think he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits online – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that realization by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they feel beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through things like seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males, research indicates this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this behavior – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself all this time which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, he was directed to a therapist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for talking therapy on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: It was indicated it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number